Gentle Reader: May Miss Manners pick one from column A and one from column B?įrom A, she would pick being a respectful daughter, but not changing merely because of the criticism from B, saying just, "Thank you," but not hoping to re-educate your mother. On the other hand, if I've turned myself out in something, usually I feel good in it. Our time with our parents is short, so I'm inclined to just make my mother happy. (B) say, "Thank you for sharing," in the hope of discouraging this kind of behavior in future? (A) play the respectful daughter and remove or change whatever it is after all, how often do we see each other, and what would it hurt me? OR, At a baby shower, it is not difficult to distinguish the guest of honor.ĭear Miss Manners: Every so often, my mom - with no small amount of soft soap - will comment negatively on an aspect of my appearance (say, a hair extension). Rather, you are thinking of it as possibly required, as a badge to distinguish the guest of honor. Gentle Reader: Because you phrased this as a "need," Miss Manners gathers that you would not intend giving it as a spontaneous and charming gesture. Her own dear mother used a softer version of your retort to strangers, which she offers to you: "Surely if I were your mother, I would have remembered you."ĭear Miss Manners: Would I need to have a corsage for the guest of honor at a baby shower? In contrast, flinging around the hallowed terms denoting motherhood is disrespectful, Miss Manners agrees. (Royal females are correctly addressed as "Ma'am," whatever their age.) Those who apparently consider it reprehensible to grow older, even as they are doing so, took it as an insult, rather than the indication of respect it actually is. Gentle Reader: What happened to "Ma'am" is that the age factor was injected into it from the recipient's side. Yesterday, a younger friend of mine was devastated because some clerk called her "Mama" for the first time.ĭo you have a better retort than a very stern, "I am not your mama"? And will you please tell your readers to stop doing this? "Mama," in this context, is clearly a way of addressing an older women - it calls attention to the woman's age. I snap back with a haughty, "I'm not your mama!" which always causes total shock and surprise. I find this tacky and disrespectful, and it makes me absolutely livid. Dear Miss Manners: In the past few years I have noticed an infuriating trend: Service people, such as cashiers, waitresses, etc., but sometimes also complete strangers, address me as "Mama."
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